I was picking Buggy up from her little school the other week, and as I was loading her into the car a dad pulled up beside me.  He had to wait to get out because my doors were wide open as I struggled to get Buggy, my independent “I want to do it myself” child, buckled in.  As he was passing by he asked me if I carpooled often.  I thought he was referring to the fact that I have 2 carseats in my car, one for Buggy and one for Froggy, so I said “No, we never carpool”.

He looked me me, obviously confused.  I just walked around the car to get in so we could get home, but he followed up his previous question by asking “Is she yours?”  Why yes, yes she is mine. I wanted to tell him that it’s none of his business, that asking me if I carpool at the beginning of the conversation just made things more awkward.  I wanted to tell him to mind his own business, and that he should just shut up.  But instead, I just said yes and smiled.  Then I got in my car and drove away.

I know being asked if she’s mine may not seem like a big deal to some people, but it is to me.  It’s a big deal because I get mean looks and stares when I go out with just the kids.  I don’t like being treated like I’m some sort of carpooling babysitter who isn’t a mom.  I wish people would be more accepting.  Mixed race families, adoptive families, same sex parent families, single parent families – we are all the same.  We are all parents who love our children, and we all deserve to parent without the identity of our child being questioned.


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